Lulaby

Tuhan, life after failure, break up itu sepi & sulit dijalani. Banyak yang bilang itu seperti cacat seumur hidup. Tapi, I trust in You & I know You will make it happen in the right time. Ketemu orang yang tepat di usia 30 tahun & menikah diusia 32 tahun pun masih menjadi hak yang indah Tuhan. Bisa punya keturunan di usia 34 tahun dan memulai keluarga kecil di usia 35 pun masih jadi wonderful blessing for me. Buying my first property or asset at 40 is still an amazing milestone. Moving to a new county at mature age of me maybe 45 or 50 is still a breakthrough.  Aku mulai bisa berdamai Tuhan, sedikit demi sedikit. I don't make others timetable become my pressure or standar anymore. I trus in Your time & timing. I know it was th eperfect one for me. I choose to rejoice in all season of my life.  Thank you Lord, for everything that already happen.  ~AR - 29/10/2025~

  Some Random Photo of North Sumatera - - Palipi Samosir Grazing Goats -- Lake Toba Lake Toba View from above (Penatapan Danau Toba) Cold Sunrise from shore of Lake Toba - 05.05 AM Warm Sunrise from shore of Lake Toba - 06.43 AM -- Simpang 4 - Pematang Siantar

It's already the end of August... Welcome September, please be nice to me xixixi... Four months until the end of 2025. I never thought I'd make it through third quarters of 2025 and still be alive. I've been thinking and reflecting for the past few days about acceptance and self love. In many times, life doesn't always go according to our plan. Along the way, we have to face harsh realities that test our strength. However, in every pain, we can find blessing to grow and love ourselves better. In 2024, one month before my wedding that was cancelled (it's sound like jokes and bad luck today, and feel relief when i can talk 'bout it without hesitation and anger anymore), Which was 70% complete, and it failed. At that point like my world was crumbling. Disappointment and sadness became my constant companions. I tried various ways to escape these feelings. From being busy with work, meeting lots of people, gathering with old friends, doing things labeled as self-love...

If you're seeking a destination that blends breathtaking landscapes, deep cultural roots, and quiet tranquility far from the crowds, then you can find it in North Sumatra, Indonesia. It should be on top of your travel list. This trip will take us from the bustling city of Medan, along the stunning shores of Lake Toba, to serene and spiritual places of North Sumatra. We go there on mid July 2025. --   An Unforgettable Itinerary 2 tough girls travel from Jakarta to Medan from dawn. We rushed to CGK International Airport for the earliest flight, around 6:00 a.m. We were greeted with culture shock on the plane by people who spoke quite loudly and firmly in the Batak dialect. After sleeping on the plane for about 2 hours, we landed in Medan Kualanamu Airport (KNO) . Our journey begins KNO in Medan. From there, we will travel to Rantau Prapat with train (+/- 5 hours to there). We were picked up by our acquaintances there. Our acquaintances was Frater who are studying theo...

Have you ever been at a point where you didn't know what to do? You felt and experienced uncertainty in life. It was like you were stuck. You had no purpose, no idea what you must do in your life? You think it's probably better to just go with the flow. NO...., it's not a feeling of not knowing what to do, it's more like being confused about where to start. It feels like you're living within other people's expectations. You want to please them, Even like you have too high expectations for your own life. It just feels like "I'm not good enough." You feel like you know you need someone that genuinely listening to you and you want to be treated well by them, the way like you treated them. But when you try to speak or express your feelings, you feel like you're just messing things up. Until you unconsiously keep your feelings to avoid making things worse. You feel like the prayer that you do is useless. you still feel don't know what to do. Yo...

 Have you ever been unsure about your own feelings? More likely about whether these feelings are right or wrong? It's feels close but far at the same time. It feels comfortable every time he's around you but some of yourself must aware that there is no binding relationship. Simultaneously afraid, whether this is just filling a momentary emptiness or true comfort. All i know right now is i'm happy to be around him, and also my biggest fear is that this feeling appears in the middle of long-standing friendship. It's feel romantic, more than friendship but in grey area. Struggle with my own feelings, ask God for guidance and still waiting.  f*** this feeling.